all aboard the Overbearing Sadgirl Express

[upperhandsen]

[sent at various points late Saturday/early Sunday after Kodi bails early from the Velvet Room, but before the party-goers wake up from their party-dream-sleep-state.]

To: Suz 💃

[1] Hey
[x] How was the r
[x] Did you h

[...]

[x] Sorry I

[...]

[2] You up?

[...]

[3] I know I bailed but can we talk
[4] Like when you're back/up
[x] I can wai
[5] I'll be around

[...]

[x] I didnt mean to
[x] I wasn

[...]

[6] I hope your night got better

[...]

[7] 💕
[x] Can I
[x] You looked 🔥🔥🔥

[...]

[8] I'll wait up in case you're [...] back early

[...]

[x] I'm sor

Time: 9:26 am.
Texts: Eight sent and nine more attempted.
Pyjamas: Pens shirt, booty shorts, knee socks, flamingo slippers, and a silk scarf tied over twisted hair.
Phone battery: 3%.
Accessories: Social studies textbook, notebook, pen, and highlighter.
Location: Sectional outside the senior Swords girls' dorm.
Pose: Spread out, phone in hand on top of textbook, face on opposite page. Small but manageable level of drool. Light snoring.

Comments

[mentalmap]

Suzy jumps a little at the sound of the book and the stationery and Kodi's voice, and then what Kodi's actually saying makes her think of Lee and the way she'd booked it out of the closet. Not fun. Her cheeks burn.

Then, in spite of herself, she giggles. Maybe because of herself (it's a nervous giggle). She sits up with purpose, like she's about to tell Kodi interesting gossip, but really it's just so the action keeps her in the moment. Otherwise she'll just linger where she is, pondering and making things worse than they are.

"Maybe... We can just not kiss other people." She shrugs, making a little face at herself, then offers Kodi a wary smile. Her fingers play idly with the hem of her flannel shorts. "What do you think?"

[upperhandsen]

Kodi's hands climb back up to the scarf, readjusting it (again) even though it was already fine, her face still obscured. "Alright, but... how much could we kiss each other?" She replies slowly, tugging it down a little, moving it back up. She thinks about how many chances there still are to fuck everything up; there's a lot of them.

[mentalmap]

"Um." It's the same tone Suzy uses in class sometimes, when she's about to cut in with a point someone else hasn't made. "....A lot?"

She's still smiling, even though Kodi isn't looking at her. She stares, then looks down at her hand. The back is a little sore from smacking into something during training, but there's no bruise.

"A lot," she repeats. "I know that because you still make me smile even when I don't want to."

[upperhandsen]

That makes a smile of her own flicker across Kodi's lips, and she finally draws her eyes up to Suzy. "A lot," she echoes, her hands falling to her knees.

And you know what? Fuck it. Now it's confirmed that they could all die. She'd tried to keep everyone at arm's length in case they might, but somehow the staff's confession had reassured her. If she was probably going to die, she could at least go down after making out with a hot girl on the reg.

"I'd rather give you reasons to smile than make you," she points out, one hand's fingers walking along the couch to Suzy, her skin already tingling. "And what about other shit? Like, if I want to take you to a movie after Outreach?"

[mentalmap]

Suzy squeaks a little at Kodi's approaching hand. The clouds in her expression fade to reveal a sunny, flustered look, still pink-cheeked from embarrassment. When things are like this, it's so easy. It's hard to believe that she could ever behave the way she had at the rink, wiping frustratedly at tears in the mirror of the uncanny valley bathroom.

"Sometimes it's fun if you make me," she points out, leaning forward. It's a move that's supposed to be suggestive, except that Kodi's next questions feel like really being asked out. In spite of herself -- and everything that's already passed between them -- she has to bite her lip to keep from giggling again, stupidly excited.

"I'd meet you in town," she promises, earnest. "Obviously."

[upperhandsen]

Encouraged—and nervous, and excited, and—Kodi leans forward too, flamingo slipper crowns pressing little stars into her shins. She'll always press a newly-presented boundary, test out just how far she can push it. "And if I kissed you now?"

[mentalmap]

Suzy reaches out with both arms, which unsteadies her a little. There is a hint of grabby hands.

"Please?"

[upperhandsen]

As Kodi launches herself forward, clasping palms to palms, two thoughts occur to her.

First: Each kiss at the party had made her feel more lonely than the last and she hadn't been sure why.

And second: She's really fucking glad she thought to brush her teeth before trekking up to the other house's common room.