(no subject)

[gaydhd]

Mrs. Langbroek is a goddess and her husband is a very lucky man. I mean, who doesn't want to find someone with a healthy appreciation for breaking, entering, AND petty theft? And, y'know. Mathematics. Math is also good?

Just THINK about it. Think about the amount of coordination and upper body strength necessary to steal pumpkins.

Comments

[heliocentrist]

This is why you'll never settle down. Your standards are too high.

[strikings]

How dare you. My personal standards are subterranean and everyone knows it.

[heliocentrist]

Unless someone intends to touch your heart instead of... something else.

[strikings]

Good luck finding that. My "something else" is just so much more accessible.

[heliocentrist]

Mmhm. I got some tips from Liam on how to theoretically win your heart but it's a long game.

[strikings]

Because I'm someone who's known for my patience.

[unironickylorenfan]

Listen, it's completely worth it in the end. You're gonna be wowed.

[heliocentrist]

It'll be wedding bells in no time.

[unironickylorenfan]

I can't wait. Let me give a toast at the reception.

[heliocentrist]

Obviously. In fact, I insist that you be the best man for making this all come together.

[unironickylorenfan]

Bless this mess, I'll do it.

[strikings]

Is this really the only way I'll get you to the altar, Liam?

[unironickylorenfan]

You haven't tried taking me to Vegas, yet.

[heliocentrist]

I knew you were a homewrecker.

[unironickylorenfan]

So that's a no to the commune, then?

[heliocentrist]

And I'm famously the type to spend months trapping you into a relationship.

[strikings]

Oh, honey. I know better than to ever get involved with Neal "Killer Cupid" Valentine.

[heliocentrist]

You'd take my bad reputation over me being an innocent sweetheart.

[strikings]

I'll take nothing over your bad reputation. Love you, but I've seen the trail of wreckage you leave behind you.

[heliocentrist]

That's a bit melodramatic. So I have a few exes.

[strikings]

When am I not melodramatic? Anyway, I don't have any exes, and I'm keeping it that way.

[heliocentrist]

Every time I even joke about relationships I can feel you hating the idea more.

[unironickylorenfan]

You've got to tell Marty to stop honking his nose.

[heliocentrist]

You just can't keep those two from their innocent, boyish shenanigans.

[unironickylorenfan]

Such playful scamps.