finchwoodacademy | Cardboard Bobsled Adventure

CARDBOARD BOBSLED

What the hell is going on with the western stairwell in the dorms? Someone's turned it into a cardboard-and-pillow-lined luge track. The whole thing! Floor five to ground level. It's pretty well decorated, all things considered, with whimsical plastic toys and paper cut outs stuck to the walls or dangling from the ceiling. There are even fairy lights scotch taped to the walls. It's like if you turned a Joe's Crab Shack into the world's jankiest amusement park ride. The culprit figures that if he gets in trouble he can just blame it on the sudden snow and his slow descent into madness. YOLO, etc.

Our adventure starts on the top floor, the Swords dorm and carries talented riders down and around up to five floors of spiral staircase. Freshmen stand at each door, watching to ensure no one's loitering on the track. Different music thrums through at each dorm floor landing from portable speakers manned by freshmen, adding even more confusion to the quick trip down the stairs. And on the ground level, a table with some snacks and drinks has been set out. Shitty medals made of folded paper and yarn are being awarded for those who “go all the way.”

HOW THIS WORKS

With the assistance of some freshmen, Liam Blumenthal has assembled a cardboard sledding track in the western stairwell of the dorms. It took him most of the afternoon, so the first rides are available in the evening.

Since the western stairwell is in use, he asks that the eastern stairwell and elevator not be loitered in. For safety reasons. :)

Pick your mode of transport and go for a ride! You have a few options:
- Ya Butt (-10 to rolls, +1 to butt pain)
- Lumpy Pillow (-5 to rolls, +5 to comfort)
- Laundry Basket (0 to rolls, the Civic of improv indoor sleds)
- Plastic Disc Sled (+5 to rolls, +5 to style)
- One of those wheeled gym class ridey board things (+10 to rolls, +15 to yolo, but 50% chance of wipe out)

Post the form below to the RIDES! section to see how far you'll go.
NAME(s): Who's on this run? WHAT'S YOUR RIDE?: Butt, Lumpy Pillow, Laundry Basket, Sled, or Gym Class Wheely Thing WILLINGNESS TO DIE?: Scale of -10 to +10. WHAT IS YOUR AESTHETIC?: This part is super important. ANYTHING ELSE?:

2 People to a ride max. Only one of the riders needs to check in with a form.

Assume light scrapes, maybe a bruise, at worst for injury. Everything is lined with pillows and cardboard. It's quite squishy.

This is super low pressure. Just something dumb and fun.

Finchwood we've got a bobsled team

» RIDES!: Post here for your rides!

» SCENES!: For all your threading needs!

» OOC - Discussion

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

NAME(s): SABRINA NOT A TEENAGE WITCH
WHAT'S YOUR RIDE?: Guess we'll try laundry basket!!!!
WILLINGNESS TO DIE?: oh we're at +10 now we didn't leave a lot of room for escalation
WHAT IS YOUR AESTHETIC?: Someone printed out the timeless classic My Immortal and then took one hell of a red pen to it
ANYTHING ELSE?: 🥔🛷

Assuming Gregory survives his ride with Hamsi, he'll gladly be Marina's sledding buddy

Edit: He survived and is ready for ROUND TWO

Edited 2019-01-29 01:33 (UTC)

NAME(s): Russ and Nora
WHAT'S YOUR RIDE?: A nice, safe sled
WILLINGNESS TO DIE?: A solid 0
WHAT IS YOUR AESTHETIC?:

tiny bunny hazards!!!

Hamina (6 + 10 + 10) make like a bread truck and haul buns. They make it as far as the third floor! Inertia puts an early end to their adventure.

Edited (Marzio got the luge genes) 2019-01-29 01:17 (UTC)

NAME(s): r/futurebubble
WHAT'S YOUR RIDE?: WHEEL! OF! DEATH!!
WILLINGNESS TO DIE?: Emma is 10 but Luke is a -3 so let's say +4???
WHAT IS YOUR AESTHETIC?: If you play that Children Are Our Future song backwards you get a recipe for bundt cake but it's honestly not very good
ANYTHING ELSE?: phone autocorrects Emma to all caps oh my

Gregory & Hamsi (44 + 7 + 0) make like a shepherd and get the flock out of there. They make it all the way to the second floor where they crash into a wall of pillows! Squishy!

NAME(s): Russ & Marty
WHAT'S YOUR RIDE?: GYM CLASS WHEELY THING
WILLINGNESS TO DIE?: 10 10 10 10 10 10
WHAT IS YOUR AESTHETIC?:

kodi considers remaining consumed by her pillows but does eventually come back to polite society long enough to get her medal before stomping back to her room.

Edited (she deffo hangs it on one of her trophies) 2019-01-29 01:31 (UTC)

So what if they crashed, Gregory and Hamsi unscathed. It's confirmed, they cannot be [...] scathed.

i could hear the "AHM GAYYY" so clearly after i read the question and when i googled it, this gif was the second on the list:

Sabrina (28 + 10 + 0) rockets through the door! She makes it as far as the third floor landing! A bump in the cardboard sends her hurtling into a wall! Sick wipe out!

please be marina's good luck charm, gregory
she's never gonna hear the end of this from marzio

Russ & Nora (34 + 0 + 5) rocket down the track! They make it all the way to the third floor landing! A bump in the cardboard sends them hurtling into a pile of pillows! Squishy wipe out!

Emma & Luke, Reddit Moderators, (38 + 4 + 10) trip on their way onto the track! They make it all the way to the second floor, swerving to narrowly avoid a group of freshmen loitering in the stairwell. What the hell, guys?

Russ & Marty (55 + 10 + 10) sally forth! And, wow! Look at them go! They make it all the way to the first floor. Someone's blaring the Final Fantasy victory music as they shoot through the doors.

At the bottom, they are awarded with a yellow, square paper medal that says "WINER!" in black sharpie. An extra N written in red ink has been haphazardly edited in to correct the spelling.

NAME(s): Sabrina Liviana Quintanilla Lane, and don't you forget it
WHAT'S YOUR RIDE?: All right Gym Class Wheely Thing, let's see what's so special about you.
WILLINGNESS TO DIE?: PLUS. TEN.
WHAT IS YOUR AESTHETIC?:

ANYTHING ELSE?: Don't try her Gym Class Wheely Thing!!! She knows where you live!!! The gym.

You cannot tell me that that is not a poop

asidhtioawur fuck i thought it was a potato and didn't read the caption

I also thought "brown pickle?" so I mean

Edited (FUCK I JUST SAW IT SAYS HOW TO ANALYZE POOP) 2019-01-29 01:55 (UTC)

THIS IS HER AESTHETIC NOW

NAME(s): A crocodile
WHAT'S YOUR RIDE?: Wheel death
WILLINGNESS TO DIE?: Oh like 6
WHAT IS YOUR AESTHETIC?: Wheel skating sunglasses reptile
ANYTHING ELSE?: He's trying to grade school surf and it's a bad idea

Sabrina, Poop Analyst, (65 + 10 + 10) shoot off backed by loud fanfare from shitty portable speakers! And, wow! Look at her go! She makes it all the way to the first floor! Some say they're still cardboard luge sledding to this very day.

At the bottom, they are awarded with a blue, heart-shaped paper medal that says "g̴̢͏̢͉̤̥̺̤͚̩̪̪l҉̴̸̸̹̺̙͙͈̝̝̝̹̖̕á̶̛͠҉̻̳̫̻̺̦̭͔̲d̵̳͚͓̺͎̦͔̱̠̰̜̬̻͖̭̙͖̺͜͞ ̷̡͘͢͏̣͙͎͕͓̲̯͈͙͎̩͚̹̘̱̜̬f̸̡̮̭̦̘̺͈̯̲͖̦͖͖̳̳͓̠͎̕͡è̵̩͍̹͎̺̻͔̩̩̗̩̥̭̠̥͟l҉̴̮̟̰̬͖̩̘̙̮̦̳͍͍̞̻̪͍̭͢i͏̨̰̪̗̻̤̤͈̤̀ḉ͏̲̣̰̮̠̭̞̲̻̕ͅi̡̛͚̦͔̭̘͖̤̱̪̤̺̹̱̟̗̙̕͞t̷̛̙͖̣͚̹̝͓̳̲̩͉̰͖̮̦à̸̧̰̳͙͚̠͍̭͈t̶̨͍̬͚̪̫͍͖̹̠͇̖̫̦̹̥̗̼́͘ͅi̷̸̢҉͖͈̲̳̰̞͍̠͚̪̜̠͘o͝͏̧̫̹̩̼̥̩̺̝̫̱̣̪̙͍͖̯͚͕͡ͅn̶̢̠͎͉̪͟s͏̵̹͙͔̬̫̺̟̞͎̗̘̬̘̝̹" in black ink. Liam cringes and shrugs when he sees that one handed out.

You know what, if that's the trick to winning she'll fucking take it. She doesn't even look happy about it as she takes the Wheely Guy and the medal and stomps off.

Lyle (61 + 6 + 10) makes like a banana and splits! And, wow! Look at him go! He makes it all the way to the first floor. His ride knocks against the door lightly on his way out and he spins his way into the wall of pillows at the end.

At the bottom, they are awarded with a black, square paper medal that says "You did good!" The good has been crossed out in red pen and "well" has been written above it. Liam's just being pedantic, now.

Page 7 of 10

Cardboard Bobsled Adventure

RIDES: Sabrina, Take 3

Re: OOC - Discussion

RIDES: Russ & Nora

Re: OOC - Discussion

RESULTS: Ham & Marinara

RIDES: EMMA & Luke

RESULTS: Gregory and Hamsi

RIDES: Russ & Marty

Re: RESULTS: Kodi is here to have """"fun""""

Re: RESULTS: Gregory and Hamsi

Re: OOC - Discussion

RESULTS: Sabrina, Take 3

Re: OOC - Discussion

RESULTS: Russ & Nora

Re: RIDES: EMMA & Luke

RESULTS: Russ & Marty

RIDES: Sabrina, Take 4

Re: RIDES: Sabrina, Take 4

Re: RIDES: Sabrina, Take 4

Re: RIDES: Sabrina, Take 4

Re: RIDES: Sabrina, Take 4

RIDES: LYLE

RESULTS: Sabrina, Take 4

Re: RESULTS: Sabrina, Take 4

RESULTS: LYLE